The Guy At The Hardware Store
by Disney's Darling
Summary: Missing scene from "The Way We Almost Weren't." Lilly and Oliver must go to the hardware store to be unstuck, with much embarrassment. Rated for removal of pants, but not underwear.


The Guy At The Hardware Store

I don't own, nor do I make money. If I owned, why would I be writing this when I could be making out with Mitchel?

A/N: Hi guys! This is just a little 'missing scene' from The Way We Almost Weren't. Oliver and Lilly must go to the hardware store to be unstuck in time for Maroon 5, and Oliver is just dreading it. And Lilly is almost homicidal.

PS. I can't take credit for 'Moptop' either; I got that off Pair of Kings. Now I use it as a term of endearment for Mitchel. *huggles Mitchel*

"_I really don't want to face the guy at the hardware store who told me to be careful with the monster glue."_

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy…" Oliver repeated over and over as he and Lilly got closer to the hardware store. One inch at a time.

"Well, you deserve it. You got me into this trying to help you, and now you have to pay. And he did say to be careful."

"I'm clumsy, okay? That's not the monster glue's fault, or my fault! It's nature's fault! I was careful with it! I fixed all the chairs, I just... fell on to one."

"If you'd just let Rico be ripped off instead of him ripping you off, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"And if I'd done that I couldn't pay you for Maroon 5 tonight!"

"If we even get to Maroon 5!"

Oliver and Lilly were still arguing as to whether it was Oliver's or nature's fault that they were stuck to beach chairs when they finally arrived at the store, but their arguing stopped the instant the guy at the hardware store saw them… and promptly burst out laughing.

"Yeah, very funny, do you have anything to unstick us with?" snapped Oliver, who was red as a tomato.

"I told you so, Moptop!" The guy was still laughing hard and pointing, stopping every few minutes to repeat "I told you so!" basking in Oliver's humiliation, and occasionally snorting at Lilly's furious expression.

After about ten minutes of non-stop laughter on the hardware store attendant's part, utter embarrassment on Oliver's, and sheer fury on Lilly's, the guy finally calmed down enough to ask, "So how'd it happen?"

"Idiot boy over there was showing off about how he'd fixed these chairs for half the price Rico was willing to pay, and then he tripped on one, and then he wanted me to pull him off, and then I fell backwards, and the rest is history. And we'll be stuck like this until either you unstick us or Miley gets home!"

"I was not showing off! I was just standing there, and then I tripped, and fell on the chair, and then you tried to pull me off and _you_ fell on to it. That part, that was not my fault."

"Sounds like you have quite a problem. And I'm about to add another one; we're all out of grade 1 paint stripper, which means you'll be stuck like that until your friend gets home." Mr. Hardware store sniggered.

"There's gotta be something!" Oliver begged. "Whatever it takes to be unstuck from Miss 'I hate you thirty-eight times' over there!"

"Yeah, Miley won't be home for ages and I can't stay like this!" added Lilly.

"I think the only way you're going to be unstuck anytime soon is if you take off your pants. 'Cause your pants are the only parts actually stuck to the chair. Take them off, take the chair off."

"You're kidding me, right?" exclaimed Lilly and Oliver simultaneously.

"Nope."

Going even redder, if that was possible, Oliver began to remove his pants, Lilly following suit.

"HAHAHA!" The hardware store attendant collapsed on the floor, convulsing with laughter. Oliver and Lilly just stood there, holding the chairs in appropriate positions to keep themselves on the right side of decency.

"I can't believe you fell for that! I had the paint stripper all along! Guess you're just as stupid as monster glue boy over there!" he added to Lilly.

Lilly turned on Oliver, her eyes blazing.

Forgetting everything, including that he had no pants on, Oliver ran for his life.


End file.
